Joy Williams’ new album is my new obsession.
Hazelnut lattes are growing on me.
I have had flashbacks to last summer this entire week.
Watercoloring with Perry is still one of my favorite things to do.
I read the story of Jacob’s dream for the first time last night & it rocked my world. It was so relevant after everything I put in the previous blog post about not knowing where I meet God or where I find Him the best (click here for previous blog). Here is the story of Jacob’s dream, just in case you need a little refresher.
10 Jacob left Beersheba and went toward Haran. 11 And he came to a certain place and stayed there that night, because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of the place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place to sleep. 12 And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it! 13 And behold, the Lord stood above it and said, “I am the Lord, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac. The land on which you lie I will give to you and to your offspring. 14 Your offspring shall be like the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south, and in you and your offspring shall all the families of the earth be blessed. 15 Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” 16 Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.”17 And he was afraid and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.”
18 So early in the morning Jacob took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up for a pillar and poured oil on the top of it. 19 He called the name of that place Bethel, but the name of the city was Luz at the first. 20 Then Jacobmade a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, 21 so that I come again to my father’s house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God, 22 and this stone, which I have set up for a pillar, shall be God’s house. And of all that you give me I will give a full tenth to you.”
“Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.”
It hit me: He is a living God. Surely He has been here this entire time and I failed to recognize Him, in the mundane & in the miraculous. I failed to recognize Him or ask for eyes to see Him. I had an awesome friend text me after reading the last blog post & she told me that the Bible is like a photo album of God and we have to continue to drink deep in His Word because that’s how we’ll learn about His character. We read about Him in the past & find His character in Jesus in order to recognize Him in the present. He is a living God, so He won’t meet me in the same way He did yesterday. I needed to hear all of these words, and reading the story of Jacob’s dream, that just solidified it even more. He is a living God.
I’ve gotten to a place where I desire to see Him daily. I don’t want to just recognize Him when things get rough and I know I need Him, but I want to want Him now and I desire intimacy with Him now. I want to recognize Him now. I don’t want to look back and realize He was there, but I want eyes to see Him now.
I’ve come to the conclusion that you never really stop wanting now. We’re a very now-oriented people. Wanting is a human desire that won’t end until we’re not human anymore. Wanting is sort of what plagues us, in a way. We want a million dollars or we want the romantic relationships we see in shows or we want that promotion or we want to go travel or we want to go shopping for a new wardrobe or we want to have 27 hours in a day or we want a beautiful voice to worship with or we want a better prayer life or we want a more intimate relationship with God. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes wanting is a very good thing. Wanting keeps us setting goals and actually doing things with our lives, so sometimes wanting is an awesome thing. But then sometimes, wanting leads to comparison and that’s not the greatest thing. And it doesn’t lead to the greatest things.
I think once we understand that what we have in this moment is everything that God has equipped us to have to deal with things in the present, the closer we’ll feel to Him and the more satisfied we will be. That realization kills comparison. And like I said, our God is an active God who never stops equipping us with new qualities or things to help us to navigate our daily lives.
I thought that quiet mornings were my love language with God. I always picture meeting Him in quiet morning moments, coffee in hand, sheets all bunched up, light flooding through the windows, quiet surroundings. I picture Him speaking into the quietest times of my life. I don’t know why I didn’t realize sooner that He rarely shows up within the parameters of my expectations. He moves in ways that I can’t explain or even begin to imagine. But I do know that He is always moving, He is always active, and He is always here.