wired to find Light.

I sat in Easter service this weekend & heard a metaphor given to our lives that goes a little bit like this:

When you enter a dark room, you navigate with arms outstretched, as to not bump into anything or let anything injure you or interfere with the course you’re trying to take. We navigate life much like this, being in a dark room. We go into autopilot for the dark, but we were called to walk in the Light. Instead of living freely and without such hazard in the Light, we hold things and people and relationships at arms length, as though walking in the dark.

This might be a regurgitated version of our Senior Pastor’s sermon from that morning, but bear with me & read a few of the high points. I never imagined comparing my walk of life to a dark room, but that morning flipped a switch, no pun intended. Much like our minds are wired to adapt to the dark & find the Light, our hearts are wired & designed to find God. The only way out of darkness is to walk in the Light. The only problem you have is with the way you view God. We hold Him to human expectations, so of course we will continuously feel like we’re being failed. If we had all the answers, why would we want to walk in the path He’s paved for us? He didn’t come to condemn us but to RESCUE us. He also described our view of God much like that of a blind person’s view of the world. They might understand that red is a color, but that doesn’t mean they actually know what it looks like. They go off of what the world around them has told them in order to make these perceptions of their surroundings. We do that with God. We go off of the picture that society has handcrafted for God, when really this is just a misunderstanding. We continually form new misunderstandings of what Jesus came to do. How long do you have to go before you decide to walk in the light? Following Him is a trusting journey. He came into the world to rescue us & we have to trust that He knows what He’s doing.

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“At the cross You beckon me, draw me gently to my knees & I am lost for words, so lost in love. I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered.”

I’ve seen Light in a lot of things lately. Photography, painting with light, as it was once described to me. Sermons, where the Light is depicted with great care & details. Sunsets, those where I get to just sit & soak it all in. This might be a stretch & a little too cliche, but I have realized that the best sunsets come after the hardest storms, or the greatest darkness. Thursday night when I took the picture above, there was a immediate, torrential downpour in the afternoon, but this picture was at around 8 o’clock that night. He is constant in the downpour.


Another tidbit I’ve learned lately: there will come a day when you no longer need to cling to your relationships & I’m still navigating those days as they come, but it’s happening. I think a lot of the time we let our relationships define us or affirm us, and it’s really hard to step out of that & into something healthier for you, even if the relationships aren’t unhealthy. It’s easy to get raveled in heart-to-hearts & coffee dates & lunch breaks, when it’s actually really simple. Yes, we are meant to help bear each others’ burdens, but we are not meant to fully carry another person, or more than one person, through everything. And I also think it’s okay to have fences & limit the relationships you form because you can drain yourself by thinking you can go in deep with every person you encounter. Trust me, I’ve tried. I’m also walking out of that one as well, not unscathed, but definitely still in one piece.

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So this whole blog post might have been a little bit paradoxical, learning not to hold people at arms length, but also understanding that it’s okay to not go in deep with everyone. Yeah, it’s still a little bit confusing to me & I didn’t even realize I did this until I read over it one last time, but that’s okay. Let’s navigate this together because I know I’m not the only one. You get it too. Life is a constant seesaw of “let this person in” and “only talk to this person over the fence,” and I think that’s more than okay.

I spent today a little out of it, but making to-do lists to give myself the illusion that I have my life together, eating dark chocolate covered espresso beans, and editing a crazy amount of pictures. And I can honestly say I feel happy. There’s a thunder storm brewing outside & leftover chicken curry waiting for me back in my dorm room. Happy happy happy Monday, indeed.

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